When I was young, I had this feeling that told me everyday that I would never ever leave my family's side no matter how big the obstacles I had to face. I love my family so so so so much that I'll do everything to make them happy and want to be with me all the time.
When I was 5, mom sent me to a kindergarten where I was supposed to meet all of my friends but I happened to throw a lot of tantrums, I called for mom and asked the teacher to call her to pick me up, I cried non stop to gain attention so that the teachers gave up and finally let me go back home. I didn't have a lot of friends at first because I could't accept the fact that my family was away from me.
I kept asking myself, "Why mom left me?" and when I was home I asked mom not to do that again. I was too young to think that I was supposed to go to school and learn, what I know is that I love mom and my whole family that I'll never leave or be left. But after a week or two I had finally found friends and got used of going to school so I didn't cry or throw tantrum anymore. I guessed I finally know how important education was.
About a few years ago, I spent most of my day home alone. All of my sisters were staying in hostels in universities and boarding school. My mom and dad were always busy and they would sent me to school early every morning and would return home late evening. So I had to take bus for home in the early year of high school but then I took lifts from my kind classmate in the next years. When I got home, there was nobody and the house was so dark and silent it made me felt goosebumps all over when I imagined of the haunted house I saw on TV. Funny me, there's no such thing in my own house! :)
So I just went for a nap after lunch because I was too tired and went I woke up I would find for food to eat (anything would do). I would do homework and watched TV until it got dark outside and my parents were home.
I can say that I'm used to live by my own. Doing my own stuff is my best thing!
But there were days that I didn't feel good at all like I really needed someone to talk to and for advices. There were days I didn't feel like smiling at all.I always contact my elder sisters for advices and help. But there was one day when I talked happily with my sister and I ended up crying. I didn't know how could I bring the topic of loneliness and told my sister how much I hope that we could be together like we used to. My sister was startled and she was definitely speechless at the first moment she heard the crying sounds I made. Everyone has got their own problems and so do I. But there are problems which you need others to help you with, which you can't do it alone. That was what I felt that time.
However, my sister was very great to tell me that Allah is always there to help me and I have never been alone. :)
She told me to be patient and looked on to the positive side where I should be grateful that I still got my family even though they were faraway from me. I still got mom and dad by my side. She said, "Put Allah first, then His prophet the Rasulullah,and only then it is your mother. Don't love family too much until you forget your God who created you and made you born into this family. I had the same feeling as you when I had to leave and stay away from mom and others but my faith in Allah make me even more stronger than I thought."
I listened to her without any words in reply.
At the end of her speech, I could feel that I had finally understood about LOVE.
I do love mom, dad, my family but the only LOVE that will last forever is the LOVE of Allah to His servants.
Every time I feel bad or sad, I will pray to Allah to help me and give me clues/Hidayah that will lead my way in Dunia and Akhirat. InsyaAllah.
The list of people I love:
-Allah SWT
-Muhammad Rasulullah SAW
-Mom
-Mom
-Mom
-Dad
-My sisters
-My whole family
-My friends
Here is the link of a song from Yusuf Islam and I really want to share it with you. Hope you will like it. ^_^
The title is My Mother and it tells about how you should number you love ones correctly!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srILXvwonbc
(Oh, I don't know why but I couldn't share it as link that leads to the site. So you have to copy it and paste it in the URL place...)
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